=(

*Beware, this is a long one. I (kind of) color-coded it by subject, though, in case jumping around is preferred.

I have an anatomy midterm tomorrow. I haven't studied at all...I skimmed over the study guide once. I'm so sick of school. So. Burnt. Out. Then, the times I study really hard, I end up being graded unfairly. Like my assignment...I spent a long time on it, tried to turn it in, had issues so I asked my instructor and he didn't give me a direct answer. I got a zero on it. Awesome. I'm mad, too, because at the beginning of school, we got to transfer over credits. Anatomy at Pima is in 2 semesters, and I needed to take it first semester for financial aid reasons. I sent the radiography director an email saying that I wanted to transfer it over for the second semester, but I needed to take anatomy first semester. Guess what. He didn't transfer it, and now it's too late. Dude. This is my FIFTH SEMESTER of anatomy. I took a year in high school, online through Rio Salado, in person at CAC, and now at Pima. I'm tired of it.

I don't want to do school right now. I don't even know if I want to do radiography. Sticking things up peoples butts is not what I imagined doing. That's disgusting. I am NOT cleaning up someone's diarrhea and risking someone blowing it out on my skin and scrubs. The only other thing I've ever really considered is elementary education. I have almost enough credits to have my AAS; I'd have to take about 30 more and then I could do my bachelor's. I looked at the NAU, ASU, and U of A websites...it'd cost me $25,000 with both of them to go from my associate's to my bachelor's. However, I'd actually be able to WORK while I'm in school, unlike my current status at Pima. (If you don't recall, they signed me on as an "outer site" student, meaning I'd have to travel to Payson, Prescott, Showlow, or Flagstaff four times a week. I'd have to pay a lot in gas, or for a hotel. Those aren't cheap. If I keep saving up, I'll have about $3,500 stowed away. That's only $218.75 a month...minus insurance=$143.75. At today's gas prices, that'd get me only 2.4 full tanks. Um. As of right now, I fill up every 10ish days. That would NOT work...especially because I'm not a vampire, so I have to be able to buy food.) So...yeah. Don't really know what to do right now.

Also, I'd just like to say that some people take things for granted. All of these people are getting married. They meet, start dating, and then are married in just a few months. How do they do that? Are they all rich? They go on about their bridal showers...bachelorette parties...gowns...bridesmaid dresses...decorations...professional photos...rehearsal dinners...

FYI, I can't afford any aspect of my wedding. Maybe a rental dress. I haven't looked at the prices. Mine's not even going to have any decorations and I'm not going to be able to host a bridal shower. Not that I care...it's not like I have anyone to invite anyway...I can think of one friend in this state. A couple in another. Would anyone even show up? Anyway, I just don't get it. How do they get engaged and then just pull out all this money in such a short amount of time?

I'm really bothered. There's this girl in my radiography program who I've been annoyed with from day one. She's the type of girl that talks "like, totally extra loudly...because I think I'm just that awesome and special and want everyone to look at me, tehehehe". Yeah. REALLY annoying...and a spoiled brat! Her $30,000 tuition is being paid in monthly payments...BY HER PARENTS. Last week she was talking suuuuuuper loudly about how her parents are paying for her lasik..."but like, I went to get it done, and the guy wouldn't because I'm only 20! I have to wait until I'm 21. I'm just soooooo mad." Then, a few minutes later, she said, "my parents are horrible. For my last birthday I wanted a cake, but my freaking mom made cupcakes instead. She didn't even buy me any presents. It's like...wow, are you kidding me. You are the worst mother in the world." I was standing 5 feet away thinking, "wow, you spoiled brat. She's paying $30,000 on your behalf...plus buying you lasik." So ungrateful. The worst part is, I found out she's LDS. Way to be an example.

Also, apparently if I quit my radiography program and do something else, then I will turn big and fat. That's what my mom says...
Thanks...
and if I do that (I mean quit, not become fat), then I will be kicked out, which means I will also have to try to find and buy a reliable car.

The end (only it's not, it's far from it...).

I could use some friends right now...Troy's my best friend, of course, but I still could use some female buddies.